I spent the last 2 decades in a culture where building muscle is the hot topic of the day, week, and month. As a result, I have witnessed a fair share of strange protein consumption strategies.
Nutritionists from all perspectives support the need for protein for growth, development, and energy. Still, for one group consuming protein is a full-time obsession: the muscle-bound male (ok and a few females too).
Whether it is massive amounts of meat, meticulous timing, or absolutely disgusting recipes, the feeding of growing muscle is a serious project that requires a respectful amount of dedication and discipline.
Seriously? That’s a lot of protein
Enjoy my 10 craziest examples of protein consumption insanity (I personally know all of these protein obsessed folks).
- 192. That’s the largest number of eggs I have seen in a normal size, freezer-top refrigerator. That is 12 stacked crates of 16 eggs each. So yes, the shelves had to be removed.
- At 10 pm, my phone rings, and the phone caller says, “I think there is something wrong. I have been in bed for 2 hours, and my heart rate is still 132 beats per minute. So I think there must be something else in that protein my friend bought in Seattle.”
- When your postworkout meal time happens in a theatre, mid-movie, on a date, what do you do? On the first date with one guy, he pulled a Tupperware container out of his backpack and enjoyed a still-warm meal of broccoli and chicken breast.
- I asked one friend why he always carries a can opener in his jacket pocket. He reached into the other pocket and pulled out a can of tuna—emergency protein.
- Worst protein shake recipe: 1 cup water, 1 cup orange juice, 1 cup ice, 1 can tuna. Blend.
- Next to his blender, one guy’s most frequently used kitchen gadget: a commercial meat grinder bolted right to the kitchen counter.
- Clueless about macronutrients, a concerned mom inquires about her teenage son. “I am so glad he has found the gym,” she says, “but I am not sure about this workout powder he started taking; I think it must be an appetite suppressant because every time he drinks it, he doesn’t eat all of his dinner.”
- I accompanied a friend to pick up some meat. On arriving at the butcher, he popped the trunk. The guy bought so much meat that he brought his own boxes to the butcher shop.
- One guy I knew set his watch alarm to go off every 4 hours. 24 hours a day. Yup, he got up at 4 in the morning to chug a protein shake.
- “Vegeta-what?”
Would you mind not following this advice
The above is not advice; it is insanity and not to be followed. However, I will say that although I am unable to comment on the health of my muscle-bound friends, every one of the real-life people I featured above always had the best physique in the room.
Happy Training,
Shari
Talk Back Questions
Are you on this list, or do you know someone who is?
Do you have a crazy protein story to add to the list?
I started pumping iron and drinking green smoothies in my teens. Now a 40+ mama with 25 years of experience working in the fitness industry, I do things differently. What I discovered during my personal healing journey made me pivot in my approach as a personal fitness and wellness coach. Now I teach people how to sweat, nourish and glow from an entirely new perspective.
I have a crazy protein story. I used to work at a nutrition store. One day a woman came in to ask if the soy protein powder that she had purchased “might be making her fat”. I said that if she consumes more calories than she burns, then yes, she would gain weight. But then I asked her more details about what she was doing and how she was taking the powder. Her response: “I mix a scoop of the protein powder with ice cream”.
Ha ha! Thanks for sharing Melissa. Some people take marketing messages a little too literal. She probably read on the label that protein helps you lose fat simply by ingesting it.