Nutritionists from all perspectives support the need for protein for growth, development and energy but for one group consuming protein is a full time obsession: the muscle bound male (ok and a few females too).
Whether it is massive amounts of meat, meticulous timing or absolutely disgusting recipes, the feeding of growing muscle is a serious project that requires a respectful amount of dedication and discipline.
Enjoy my 10 craziest examples of protein consumption insanity.
- 192. The largest number of eggs I have seen in a normal size, freezer-top refrigerator. That is 12 stacked crates of 16 eggs each. Yes, the shelves had to be removed.
- 10 pm phone caller says “I think there is something wrong. I have been in bed for 2 hours and my heart rate is still 132 beats per minute. I think there must be something in that protein my friend bought in Seattle”
- When your postworkout meal time happens in a theatre, mid-movie, on a date, what do you do? This guy pulled a tupperware container out of his backpack and enjoyed a still warm meal of broccoli and chicken breast.
- I asked one friend why he always carries a can opener in his jacket pocket. He reached into the other pocket and pulled out a can of tuna. Emergency protein.
- Protein shake recipe: 1 cup water, 1 cup orange juice, 1 cup ice, 1 can tuna. Blend.
- Aside from the blender, the kitchen gadget most frequently used by this guy: a commercial meat grinder bolted right to the kitchen counter.
- Clueless about macronutrients, a concerned mom inquires about her teenage son. “I am so glad he has found the gym” she says, “but I am not sure about this workout powder he started taking, I think it must be an appetite suppressant because every time he drinks it he doesn’t eat all of his dinner”
- I accompanied a friend to pick up some meat. On arriving at the butcher he popped the trunk. The guy brought his own boxes to the butcher shop.
- This guy had his watch alarm set to go off every 4 hours. 24 hours a day. Yup, he got up at 4 in the morning to chug a protein shake.
The above is not advice, it is insanity and not to be followed. However, I will say that although I am unable to comment on the health of my muscle bound friends, every one of the real-life people featured above always had the best physique in the room.
Talk Back Questions
Are you on this list or do you know someone who is?
Do you have a crazy protein story to add to the list?