Feeding muscle. 10 crazy stories about protein consumption

Muscle building proteinHaving spent the last decade in a culture where building muscle is the hot topic of the day, week and month I have personally witnessed a fair share of strange protein consumption strategies.

Nutritionists from all perspectives support the need for protein for growth, development and energy but for one group consuming protein is a full time obsession: the muscle bound male (ok and a few females too).

Whether it is massive amounts of meat, meticulous timing or absolutely disgusting recipes, the feeding of growing muscle is a serious project that requires a respectful amount of dedication and discipline.

Enjoy my 10 craziest examples of protein consumption insanity.

  1. 192. The largest number of eggs I have seen in a normal size, freezer-top refrigerator. That is 12 stacked crates of 16 eggs each. Yes, the shelves had to be removed.
  2. 10 pm phone caller says “I think there is something wrong. I have been in bed for 2 hours and my heart rate is still 132 beats per minute. I think there must be something in that protein my friend bought in Seattle”
  3. When your postworkout meal time happens in a theatre, mid-movie, on a date, what do you do?  This guy pulled a tupperware container out of his backpack and enjoyed a still warm meal of broccoli and chicken breast.
  4. I asked one friend why he always carries a can opener in his jacket pocket. He reached into the other pocket and pulled out a can of tuna. Emergency protein.
  5. Protein shake recipe: 1 cup water, 1 cup orange juice, 1 cup ice, 1 can tuna. Blend.
  6. Aside from the blender, the kitchen gadget most frequently used by this guy: a commercial meat grinder bolted right to the kitchen counter.
  7. Clueless about macronutrients, a concerned mom inquires about her teenage son. “I am so glad he has found the gym” she says, “but I am not sure about this workout powder he started taking, I think it must be an appetite suppressant because every time he drinks it he doesn’t eat all of his dinner”
  8. I accompanied a friend to pick up some meat. On arriving at the butcher he popped the trunk. The guy brought his own boxes to the butcher shop.
  9. This guy had his watch alarm set to go off every 4 hours. 24 hours a day. Yup, he got up at 4 in the morning to chug a protein shake.
  10. “Vegeta-what?”

The above is not advice, it is insanity and not to be followed. However,  I will say that although I am unable to comment on the health of my muscle bound friends, every one of the real-life people featured above always had the best physique in the room.

Happy Training,


Talk Back Questions

Are you on this list or do you know someone who is?

Do you have a crazy protein story to add to the list?

2 thoughts on “Feeding muscle. 10 crazy stories about protein consumption

  1. I have a crazy protein story. I used to work at a nutrition store. One day a woman came in to ask if the soy protein powder that she had purchased “might be making her fat”. I said that if she consumes more calories than she burns, then yes, she would gain weight. But then I asked her more details about what she was doing and how she was taking the powder. Her response: “I mix a scoop of the protein powder with ice cream”.

  2. Ha ha! Thanks for sharing Melissa. Some people take marketing messages a little too literal. She probably read on the label that protein helps you lose fat simply by ingesting it.

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